Re-emergence of emotion!

  That title might mean nothing to most, but this is me, clearing out the cluttered dross of my past and re-emerging as me once more. It is a week until the first anniversary of the death of my soul mate, best friend, partner and Master of 15+ years. The 5th of January 2019 is etched on my heart, and i am in no hurry to let it fade away from there. This oft misunderstood man will remain at the heart of me forever. RIP Andy, light of my life, firm of my firmament!!!

  Not putting myself out there for some wannabee Dom (!) out there to hit on me, but then again it could be heartily amusing if some odd bod tried their luck! No, this is just an extra element i am using to keep my brain working, and as i have taken to writing, pen to paper, journaling and fiction, poetry to an extent, and beyond that, i wanted to let myself reach out a little further online too.

  So there it is, not much of a mission statement it's true, but then i am not into making a grand production out of things. Yep. that's me by the wall in the half light, not just a shrinking violet with a few extravagant moments, more a quiet watcher of life around me. i am no snooper, not a sneaky bitch trying to get one over on unsuspecting others, that isn't me at all. What i have is a interest in people, life as it's lived and lost, what happens around me, what i find when ambling about.

  Ambling would be wonderful, to be sure, but my physical life has contracted to 4 walls and the odd spell of time out of doors courtesy of an electric wheelchair and a helper or two who keep me able to move beyond my little bungalow. And no, this is not a pity party, i have lived life to my own drum, in the main, The rest of the time i am able to get from one room to the other with the aid of a pair of sticks, so long as they are close to.

  i have rampant arthritis, fybromyalgia, a shambling skeleton (i am now 4ft 6ins in height), and am nursing my one remaining kidney. The missing kidney almost killed me a few years back, caused sepsis, 5 days worth of coma, and an overload of gentamisin. That last item is still my arch nemesis, the antibiotic has a tendancy, when over used, to mess with you balance, and falling over happens occasionaly, and mostly without warning. So there you are, all that and an already broken hip joint, not bad for 63,eh?
 
  That's it for now. my coffee beckons, and my idiot fingers are starting to annoy me, so it will be another time before the kink in me says hi!

  It appears to be New Years Eve, so anyone who happens to read this...have good new one, as i am hoping to do.

  jan...x

  P.S. That emotion bit? That is my name, emotion.